


I Trust You

by Es_Aitch



Series: So big it doesn't need a name. Just a great big "THE". [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:38:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Es_Aitch/pseuds/Es_Aitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Donna's Memory-Wipe should have gone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Trust You

Donna followed the Doctor back to the TARDIS, but she could not help doing what the he could not:  she turned for one last glimpse at Rose Tyler.  She was shocked, _all the wonderful things she had learned about this young woman and yet she fell utterly short, especially compared to_ …  No!  Those were not her thoughts, where did _those_ come from?  She glanced up the ramp at the alien, no _man_ , programing the TARDIS to send them into the Vortex.  She covered her mouth with her hands as she realized what was happening.  She ran past him and off into her own rooms.  The Doctor let her run.  She was not running from him, he knew that much, but he figured she just needed some time to process all that had happened.

Once they were safely in the Vortex, he went to the kitchen to make some tea and set out some chocolate biscuits.  He did not feel like eating himself, but it would be rude not to have something to offer Donna.  He sighed heavily as he thought of her and what was likely to happen. Until it did, he was going to enjoy every minute he had with her.  His hearts were heavy and a great sadness resonated throughout the TARDIS.  However, he slowly realized that the sadness was not his own, nor was it that of the TARDIS.  It was a greater sadness and one he had not experienced since he ended the Time War.  _The Time War_!

In less than a flash, he took off and was down the hall, standing in front of Donna’s door.  He took a deep calming breath before he did anything else.  Then he knocked, only as a courtesy, as he turned the handle and opened the door.  He stuck his head in and quietly called out, “Donna?” 

He heard her sniffle as she tried to regain some of her composure, “Yeah?” 

He stepped into her room and slowly approached the bed she was perched on, “Is everything all right?” 

She nodded, “I’m always all right.” 

She winced as a phrase too commonly spoken by him flowed from her lips.  Slowly, he sat on the bed and he spoke in a warm and gentle voice, “ _Time Lord_ all right?” 

A trace of a smile crossed Donna’s lips at the memory and she nodded.  After taking another breath she spoke, hardly above a whisper, “But I’ll be fine.  How are you doing?” 

The Doctor recognized that tactic all too easily, but being on the receiving side of it, he wondered briefly why any of his companions stayed with him more than five minutes.  Since he did not know what was happening, though, he thought it best not to disturb her deflection.  He would take on the roll of companion for a bit.  “Me? Oh, I did what needed to be done for all our sakes.  Really, I’m not that upset…  Rose is… so different.  She’s changed.”  He sighed, “Or maybe I just finally see what I refused to allow myself to see.  Still, it’s for the best.”  He paused, “But, right now, it’s you that I’m worried about.  Come on, best mates and all that… You can tell me.”

Donna took another shuddering breath, met the Doctor’s eyes and tears filled her own.  He gently wrapped his arms around her.  They had long since gotten past trying to figure each other out.  Each knew the other would share things when they were ready.  She buried her head in his chest, finding a little comfort in the twin beats of his hearts.  Finally she began ever so softly, “It was a two-way biological meta-crisis.  I got the best bits… your mind.  But I also got your memories.” 

He winced, waiting for her to call them the ‘worst bits.’ When no such accusation came, he sighed deeply, “Oh, I’m sorry.  I’m so s…”

“Don’t you dare!” she cut him off as she pulled away from him, “It isn’t your fault.  You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

The Doctor sighed heavily, in an attempt to stop himself.  With a shaky voice he spoke, “But if it’s making you this sad….”

Donna shook her head and cut him off again, “It will pass… everything does.” 

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her once again and held her tightly.  Donna adjusted herself so she was more nestled into his arms, before she spoke again, “All that time I said you needed someone, but I never really got it.  Doctor, what you need is someone who knows all this stuff without you having to rehash it every time.” 

The Doctor smiled down at her but he spoke barely above a whisper, “Donna Noble, you are brilliant.”

A small smile played across her lips and this time, she could not argue against him.  She had his mind now and knew he was not simply palliating her.  After a few minutes, she spoke, “I could murder a cuppa, though.”  

He smiled and chastely kissed the top of her head, “Right, then we’ll meet in the library?” 

She nodded in response and shifted out of his embrace so he could get up.  They met in the library about ten minutes later.  Donna had curled up onto one of the couches.  The Doctor set the tea and sandwiches about.  She leaned forward to grab a sandwich and winced in pain.  Though she tried to hide it, it did not go unnoticed by the Doctor.  Donna raised the cup and allowed the steam to sooth her. 

She smiled at him, “Tannins!  Just what I need after having that consciousness activated.” 

He smiled in return, but it did not quite reach his eyes.  Each knew what was starting to happen and each ignored it as long as possible.  After they finished their tea, Donna stood, “You know what we need; a nice relaxing planet.  And this time, I drive, because whenever you do, we end up in danger!” 

She extended her hand and he gratefully took it.  When they reached the control room, Donna went and started making adjustments to the controls.  The Doctor, already sensing her mind degrading, leaned sadly against a pillar, thinking of any way possible to save her.  Her voice interrupted his thoughts, “I thought we could try the planet Felspoon. Just 'cos. What a good name: Felspoon! Apparently, it's got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move, can you imagine?” 

The Doctor’s voice was less than enthusiastic, “And how do you know that?” 

Donna smiled brightly, “Because it's in your head. And if it's in your head, it's in mine!” 

The Doctor asked, “And how does that feel?” 

Donna replied in a way that feigned happiness, “Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene! Great big universe, packed into my brain! You know you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hot-binding the fragment-links and superseding the binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary…” She gasped, “I'm fine!”

The Doctor watched her, with great sadness, but it was expected.  Donna ignored him and continued on with her plans, “Nah, never mind Felspoon. Know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin! I bet he's great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that? Shall we go and see Charlie Chaplin? Shall we? Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chester, Charlie Brown, no, he's fiction, friction, fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton...” 

The Time Lord consciousness released her again and she gasped and used the console, to support her while holding her head, “Oh, my God!” 

The Doctor approached her, speaking quietly, “Do you know what's happening?” 

With a defiance that she is known for, Donna replied, “Yeah.” 

The Doctor wanted to make sure she understood the gravity of the situation, so explained anyway, “There's never been a human-Time Lord metacrisis before now. And you know why.”

Donna met the Doctor’s eyes but the defiance was still there, “Because there can't be.” Then she turned from him, a part of her already knowing what he was planning, so she begged, “I want to stay.” 

The Doctor pleaded with her, “Look at me. Donna. Look at me.” 

He wanted to memorize all of her features, remember her as the Doctor-Donna, in her glory.  Slowly, she met his eyes, it was obvious as the tears started to appear in her own that this would be ‘good-bye.’  She hated the tremble she heard in her voice as she spoke, “I was gonna be with you. Forever.” 

The Doctor gently replied, “I know.” 

Donna spoke slowly and hopefully, “Rest of my life. Travelling. In the TARDIS. The Doctor-Donna.”

The Doctor watched Donna, his eyes filled with compassion and sorrow. She could no longer ignore that she knew what he would do, “No! Oh my god... I can't go back. Don't make me go back. Doctor, please, please don't make me go back!” 

He breathed her name, “Donna…”  He paused, “If I don’t… You know what will happen.” 

Donna’s eyes flooded with tears at that.  She knew she would die.  She met his eyes; she did not want to be the cause of any more pain and suffering for him.  She reached up and cupped his cheek, offering comfort even as she was painfully dying.  He had to act quickly, he knew that, but then, he could not bring himself to do anything.  She stroked his cheek with her hand, “I trust you to do what is best.  Just… promise me that you won’t forget me.”

The Doctor chocked on a sob as he shook his head instead of replying, “Oh, Donna Noble, I am so sorry.  But, we had the best of times.  The best.” Then he offered her a word that he so rarely offered to anyone and when it came out, it was barely a whisper, “Good-bye.” 

He saw the fear in her eyes as he raised his fingers to her contact points.  She did not fight him, she knew that would only make things more difficult for him and she did trust him.  With her life.…  When he had completed establishing the mental blocks, Donna collapsed into his arms.  He caught her and held her, his best mate.  He whispered into her hair, “I could never forget my best friend.” 

Then he planted a kiss atop her head in a final gesture of farewell.

**Author's Note:**

> The quotes taken from "Journey's End" don't belong to me.


End file.
